My Dearest Phantom (aka 2002 Pontiac Grand Am GT), When I purchased you in 2002, I was in love; we were besties and we went everywhere together, including many a road trip.

When you began having quirky problems like the infernal turn signal clicking /chattering non-stop I just took you to the car doc and replaced your part.

When you wouldn’t start I had you towed to a dealership for them to tell me that my security system was locked up. Never fear I blamed that little incident on my (now ex) boyfriend who gave me the “worst gift ever” of an aftermarket automatic car starter that forever bunked up the Passlock. (Yes, my dear I have blamed him for that for 8 years…. Until I read this site and realized it is not your former step-daddy’s fault, but your original daddy’s (GM) asinine attempts at engineering.) Once I figured out the security system -10-minute-reset-in-the-on-position it was all good – we all need a break every once and while and sometimes without any warning.

When each of your 4 window regulator’s burned out (multiple times) I replaced them (with GM parts because generic parts you reject like a bad organ transplant- as I learned when I replaced the 4th regulator on the same window in a month) – all so you could feel the cool air breeze through your interior at my discretion.

When the effn dome light kept falling off the roof mid-drive and dangled and swung like a pendulum at my head while I was driving, I replaced your clips and got real good at super gluing chit.

When your tread gets low I get you some new wheels – not some bullsnap Toyo’s – the $150.00 a tire Goodyear’s.

I may not have always kept you spotlessly clean, but maybe if you didn’t lock the damn security system up randomly, I wouldn’t have to be afraid to take you to the car wash and risk the public humiliation of being “that girl at the carwash whose pos car wouldn’t start”. (And let’s face it, your dam near 10 years old and you’re getting a little worn out anyway…)

But this!! I did not deserve this!! Driving down a mountain, a 2 lane road, just beyond the 6 mile gradient increase!!! And the SHARP CURVE AHEAD!!! CAUTION!!! Signs…. You just decide to say EFF this and crap out on me??? No power? No acceleration? Tachometer going blazes like a cartoon. NO WARNING?? And in the fast lane??? Making me risk life and limb??? Oh you dirty, dirty beotch.

When I had to have my car towed 70 miles home and have my sister and her 2 kids stop on the side of a mountain to pick me up, I decided we needed to take a break. It wasn’t a complete break up, just a break, in part because we have been together so long and I really don’t want a car payment, but mostly because I was grateful to be alive and had an adrenaline rush from what was at best a sticky situation and, at worst, could have been the death of both of us you dumb@ss.

But I should have just left you sitting there on the side of the mountain road you mother effn dirty dog. How you gonna do me like that? I’ve been good to you. Gassed you up and never let you get below ¼ tank. Premium too! Regular oil changes like clockwork. Tuneups. Quirky fixes no one else with other car makes/models have ever heard of or have to do. People make fun of you and ask me why we’re still kicking around together… and I DEFEND YOU!

My mechanic first told me that it was the ignition module ($167.91). Then called me back and said “Oh wait that’s not it, it’s the crank shaft position sensor ($30.60) – We just replaced it and she’s good to go.” And then I come to pick you up (after hours because momma has to work to put gas in your tank dummy), and you totally eff up on me not a half mile down the road. Now you don’t want the speedometer to work and let the engine go all clunking and jerking??? While I appreciate the fact that you even started without an assist, seriously Phantom, cut the shiznit. I brought you back to the shop- now tell the mechanic what is wrong and let him fix you if you want to come home!!!! Otherwise, I will totally take off those brand new tires, bring you to a trailer park and let some homeless guy put you up on blocks and live in your stank @ss sorry sack of dashboard peeling, lights falling off, security sensor resetting interior. How would you like that you junkyard ho?? Get it together.

P.S. Your real parents (GM) should be ashamed.

It happened one day that my Pontiac wouldn't start. I had to call into work resulting in loss of pay. It really sucks when you deliver pizzas and your car won't start. My brother an uncle are mechanics. So they had my car towed to their shop and my brother ended up telling me that I had to push on the gas to get the car to start. He said that my moms Pontiac Grand AM GT also had the same issue. Well that got really annoying and I said I shouldn't have to push on the gas to get the car to start that was just stupid. Well i took it into their shop several times, they replaced the fuel pump, did a complete tune up, replaced the air intake valve, temp sensors, computer (because my check engine light wasn't on - let me note that it was their boss that replaced that I still don't think he needed too as my engine light has come on before but doesn't stay on for more than a day or two) After paying about $600 bucks out of my college savings plan I picked up a repair manual and was looking at all the reasons my car wouldn't start. Not only would it not start but THREE times while in the middle of driving my car stalls. I was fed up, they had replaced everything that could possibly cause these problems even changed the fuel filters in case they were clogged, which is what I originally believed to be the problem. I took it in one last time to make sure they had checked the intake hoses. While looking for the hoses my brother came across a group of wires that were stuck to - I believe the engine - he said they lead to the intake valve so somewhere in that general area - it was on the right side of car if you care to take a look - anyway - they had been melted because they were placed too close. My brother spliced the wires back together, made them longer, and brought them over and away from where they originally were. I haven't had to push on the gas to get it to start, nor has it stalled since then...SO relieved.

My Pontiac Grand Am began shutting off I was driving down the road. I was told it was the fuel pump so I spent $400 to replace it. Two days later I am driving down the highway at 60 mph and it shuts off again. I am so thankful I was travelling on a back road at the time and was going down hill so I was able to coast off of the highway. I travel the interstate daily and thank God I was not on it when it happened. I took it back to the mechanic and they discovered it was my ignition switch. They tell me it is quite a common problem with that make and model. They have replaced many. Well that costed about $400.00. While there they also discovered yet another manufacturer defect. My head gaskets were leaking. That added about another $600 to the bill to replace them. This car is no where near paid off and am already having to deal with these expenses. And how can Pontiac not recall this car for this problem. The internet has shown me that I am among many with this problem. Pontiac won't recall because it is not a safety issue. Excuse me but I think someone's car shutting off at 55 or 70 mph with oh lets say a tractor and trailer behind them is a safety issue. When you car shuts off it shuts off. There isn't time to get out of the way of the vehicle behind you. How many people are going to have to lose their life due to this repairable problem before GM decides to fix it? This is one of the biggest safety issues I have ever heard of and they try to say it is not safety related. I have always been a fan of GM vehicles until now. Don't get me wrong my Grand Am is a beautiful car but all it's going to be is a beautiful casket if it decides to shut off at just the right time. Please GM wake up.