It began abruptly. I was going over speed bumps, when as I made a turn, a long "creeeeak~" emerged from the wheelbase.

The problem was intermittent. Sometimes on hot days, after a lot of driving, it'd get real creaky and squeaky driving it around. I took it to my mechanic finally, hoping some lube would make whatever mechanism stop making so much noise. The issue was the upper and lower control arms, an expense around $1200-$1500.

Some lubricant band-aided the issue for a few days, but it returned. After 8 months, the car became an embarrassment to drive around. The Marquis' typically reserved and unadorned appearance belayed the fact that it became quite the head-turner driving around town, and not because people were 'mirin how it looked. During turns, the audible creaks penetrated the normally serene interior, making the vehicle sound like the bowels of a tanker ship creaking under the stress of a stormy sea.

I at one point saw a Lincoln Town car squeak noisily out of a parking garage one day. I felt a connection with the driver, as I knew their dilemma all too well. Apparently, judging from a novice observation, the issue can affect any car under the Panther platform (Mercury Grand Marquis, Lincoln Town Cars, Ford Crown Vics).